I was gifted a wonder filled, enchanting, illustrated book at Christmas – The Boy, the mole, the fox and the Horse. (sic)  The mole is a tad obsessed with cake – “If at first you don’t succeed, have some cake”.  Allow me to share my favourite dialogue:

The mole says:
“I’ve learned how to be in the present”.
“How?” asked the boy.
“I find a quiet spot and shut my eyes and breathe”.
“That’s good, and then?”
“Then I focus”.
“What do you focus on?”
“Cake”, said the mole.

The book is about friendship, love and kindness, offering many gems of wisdom – often from the mole.

“Being kind to yourself is one of the greatest kindnesses” the mole says, adding, “We often wait for kindness…but being kind to yourself can start now”.  While the horse says, “Nothing beats kindness, it sits quietly beyond all things.”

Quite probably, because it both changes and saves lives.  Back in 2009 Jono Fisher founded The WakeUp Project in Sydney, with the idea of making Sydney the kindness capital of the world – an amazing vision to hold – and I was at his first event.  He created Kindness Cards which were mailed or handed out freely in exchange for paying it forward to a stranger in a random act of kindness. The stories that came back of what this meant to people were extraordinary.

Research shows that kindness boosts serotonin and dopamine, the neurotransmitters in the brain that create feelings of satisfaction and wellbeing. On a scan, the pleasure and reward centres of the brain light up.  Kindness may also result in the release of endorphins, chemicals mostly controlled and released via the hypothalamus and pituitary gland, which are known for their role in easing pain and stress.  Natural pain killers no less.  We definitely need the benefits of kindness for 2022.

Philosopher and prolific writer Aldous Huxley confessed – “It’s a little embarrassing that after 45 years of research and study, the best advice I can give people is to be a little kinder to each other.”

I have to agree with the mole though that being kind to yourself is one of the greatest kindnesses.  I received an email from a client thanking me for my kindness, empathy, understanding, acceptance and wisdom.  It’s very lovely to receive someone’s expression of gratitude, but it also provokes me to ponder exactly how kind, empathetic, understanding and accepting I am to myself.  Time for reflection….

I know how harsh and self-critical we sometimes are to ourselves, often without even recognising it, because it’s so embedded – and  have a favourite question that invites a new perspective in and calls us into a different relationship with ourselves. “If I were being kind or gentle to myself right now, what would I be thinking/feeling/doing?”  Try it and see if it opens up a new direction.

We can use that self critical voice to also sit in judgement on ourselves for NOT being kind in whatever way we think we should have been, either to ourselves or others.  Time for some tapping perhaps, to accept these parts of us that may not have had many experiences of kindness to guide us, and to embrace ourselves with love, compassion and care. That’s kind.

I wish for your life to be filled with an abundance of kindness in 2022.