Staying Steady

Superintendent Christine McDonald is the Police Commander of my local area and former Chief of Staff of the NSW Police Commissioner (the state where I live). I recently heard her speak at an International Women’s Day event and was inspired by her authenticity, humour, dedication and determination and in awe at how she has navigated challenges I can’t even imagine.

I love that when she was young she played soccer with the boys because she decided she could play as well as they could, and at 9 decided that she knew how to do all the tasks that the altar boys at her Catholic church undertook so wrote to the Pope to complain.…..and became an altar girl.

It’s good to know there is a steady hand at the helm because we have been made so aware of the difference that makes. And I think we’re being called to look to how we ourselves can stay steady in these uncertain times.

Christine says policing is being made all the more difficult by the increase in mental ill-health and my local MP says a lot of her work currently is supporting the victims of major scams, so the world all around us from local to global is becoming increasingly intense. How do we stop ourselves from becoming overwhelmed, knocked off balance and reacting to triggers?

I think it’s a question that we all need to answer for ourselves, because it’s different for everyone.

I have just been reading about Gout Gout, Australia’s 17 year old sprinting star, whose immense talent has put him under a lot of pressure. When he goes into his lane and gets on the line he closes his eyes and talks to God – “Whatever happens, happens, let your will be done”. He then has six words, a mantra if you like, that he repeats to anchor himself. “Keep low, push hard, stay smooth”.

My own nervous system is particularly labile (one reason that my gratitude for tapping knows no bounds) and I really like this concept of ‘staying steady’. I’m finding that just asking myself the question, “What do I need in order to stay steady now”, helps me to feel calmer, before I’ve even decided on a resource that might support me.

A really good exercise is to make a list of things which can be a resource to you when you are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, melting down, hopeless, outraged, etc. The reason it’s good to have a list to consult is that when our nervous systems go into the survival responses – fight, flight, freeze, fawn and flop (as Martha Beck so succinctly calls the latter) we lose the capacity to bring them to mind.

I thought I was done when I had 20 things on my list but I’ve now got 36 – it’s really good to discover you have more resources to support you than you thought you did, especially when things are going really pear shaped!

Resources can be anything that make you feel better – a cup of herbal tea, running, gardening, a dance class, a friend who gets you, a cosy blanket, an uplifting song, tapping, energy exercises, trees, nature, flowers, a favourite movie or book – you get the drift. It can be an object, a person, something you do, or perhaps something that engages your senses. Which reminds me, I didn’t put Aura Soma Lady Nada Quintessence on my list – the perfume is just gorgeous. That’s 37.

If you want to tap you could put staying steady into a simple choice statement, as in “Even though I feel overwhelmed and it’s all too much, I choose to support myself in staying steady”, or, “Even though I feel so anxious, I choose to allow myself to stay steady”, or, “Even though I can’t cope, I choose to know I have the resources to help me through”.

Let’s meet these uncertain times, and all the challenges that crop up daily, with a commitment to using all the resources at our disposal to stay steady in the face of it all.